Aurelia’s Baby Gator spot opened up last week. Baby Gator is the UF daycare that only faculty,staff and students can use. It is also where students who study early childhood development can intern to observe the kiddos and get their hours for their degrees. I’ve been told that it is a pretty cool place. Since it is accredited as a university facility as well as a daycare,the child:teacher ratios are even lower than the state requirements,which is also wonderful! Aurelia’s classroom will have a 4:1 ratio. I also spoke with one of my department’s office staff this morning,and she was telling me how much her kids loved being in Baby Gator and how she was able to go have lunch with them on weekdays and such:).
So where is the crisis? In my head,of course. I know that we have been working up to this point since she was born –started with a sitter at home for a few hours a week,then she went away to a sitter for a few hours a week,now we are moving to daycare –it was always the plan. BUT,I did not forsee having such a hard time with this! I feel as if I am signing over my baby with all of this paperwork and “officialness”that is involved with enrolling her in the school. So,if I’m signing over part of my motherhood,then who am I,now? I’ve also given up part of my “studenthood”to be a mother,and part of my “wifehood”to be a mother –so now what am I,again? This is all so much for my little mind to handle. There have been tears shed over this issue,and I am sure that there will be more.
We are also very sad to leave our babysitter behind. Ajita is so wonderful! Aurelia loves going over to play with little Ashna (just under 2 years),and Ajita teaches her little tricks,pays so much attention to her,and puts up with her being difficult to put down for naps. There just doesn’t seem to be any substitute for personal contact like that. I have been reassured that the BG teachers are wonderful,and that they will show Aurelia so much love,too. I just need to have more faith about this that she will be well-cared-for. God has never failed to lead us to safe places so far,even when we have made very blind choices. We didn’t know Ajita before she started sitting for us,and she has turned out to be wonderful.
Moving into “working mom”status is going to be tough for me,even though it is what I had expected to do,and it is what so many other good mommies do all over the country. Every transition is personal,though,and I tend to take things pretty hard. I’m going to miss my baby,but I’m glad that she will have so many kiddos to play with and that she will be learning sign language and all of those other wonderful things. I just gotta have more faith and remember that I don’t control everything,anyway –right?
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